How to Prepare for Superbowl XLV
1. Fully stocked snacks are a must for any party. Get yourself a triple tier wing platter for hot, medium and mild
2. wheel in the wet bar. stock it with various alcoholic beverages. spend a bit extra for a bartender.
3. rip up your original carpet, and replace with astroturf. Mark a scale version of football yardage to replay those crucial plays with buddies.
4. replace normal tv with brand-new giant flat screen. Keep the box and receipts so you can return it tomorrow.
5. find your tv remote. purchase a second, backup remote for when your team fumbles and you snap it in half.
6. do whatever it takes to get your wife to dress up as a cheerleader/waitress. You’ll be paying for this a long time, but it’ll be worth it.
7. streamers and decorations. some guys can live without them, but then it’s not truly a party atmosphere.
8. replace your existing ceiling fixture with a sports-themed one, or neon sign either purchased from a yard sale or stolen from a bar.
9. balloon. Great for popping when your team loses, and sucking helium during halftime to force beer out your buddies’ noses.
10. change the front door locks. keeps out unwanted neighbors and children, at least until after the game.
11. tape the windows to prevent dangerous, shooting shards during the inevitable breakout.
12. favorite lazy-boy, freshly sprayed with 10-12 coats of fresh scotch guard. Now you can focus on the game instead of spills.
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